i love this so much. i am christian but really struggling with it in the face of realising my self and my rational and intellectualising mind. the bible feels like a difficult and confusing piece of literature that i cannot approach any differently from any other book or piece of writing. it is so so hard to confront these things within oneself. thank you for the words, they are beautiful <3
I often feel like I keep allowing belief systems in, then throwing them out. I am desperate for a higher thing that I can relax into, just like you described. I often wish I was more like the people who accepted religion so easy, that used it as their root. I don't. I long for it.
You write so beautifully and conveyed feelings I feel so so often. Thank hou
An excellent read which resonates deeply with me. I find that struggling to have faith is akin to having faith in the struggle; it makes no damn sense, but it doesn't pretend to either. I have no idea what it means to trust in God fully, and I don't think anyone has. But I know I can't trust anything wordly. Perhaps this is what "death to the world" really means. Nevertheless, doubt always creeps in my thoughts even when I feel the closest to God. Maybe it's the physicist in me that looks at the night sky and sees nothing but void. Truly appreciate you sharing this Freya! It was very comforting.
crying in a coffee shop as i read this- your voice somehow captured so many feeling I couldn't put into words.
I'm not sure if you've seen Fleabag but your words brought me to Fleabag's monologue when she's at confession and she admits that she just wants someone to tell her what to do and who to be- if you haven't watched I would definitely recommend because based on this post I feel like you'd love it!
you have no idea how badly i needed to read this, i often find myself yearning for religious guidance— it’s gotten to the point where im taking religious courses, following the teachings of every religion for some sort of closure. I’m not even sure what kind of closure i need, i just want someone to tell me it’ll get better, if i follow a specific path it’ll lead me to a better life. Maybe it’s not real, maybe im not trying hard enough. Regardless your writing exemplified my feelings precisely.
Beautifully written and deeply relatable. And this line: “we instil our faith in strangers on the internet who go viral for any number of things, most importantly for not being us.” 👏🏻❤️🔥
This resonates a lot with me and is something I’ve thought about a lot. Being an eldest daughter myself I know what it’s like to be the model for others and not have anyone be the model for you. It’s rewarding to be an older sister and still hard in many ways.
I mentality I’ve adopted lately is that although “the sky is empty” maybe the belief in god has to be within me. I have the power to materially change my circumstances. To create and destroy. To touch things around me. Maybe we need to treat ourselves like god comes from within.
such an interesting read. it really resonates with me, i have had a very complex relationship with religion throughout my life and you really captured a lot of those feelings x
Resonated with this so much - I've had phases when I believed in absolutely nothing and no one and felt so empty. I'm still not religious and have perhaps been influenced by New Age spirituality, but it's comforting to believe in something, just anything, greater than you. Because there are always things in life that will feel out of your control no matter how much faith you have in yourself.
The uncanny transience of life and the grand disillusionment of god leaves one spinning for life times packed in a fragile body of skin, bones, and blood.
I've found there is an immanent chaos in the utmost core of the universe, one from which we've evolved and one by which we are taunted. And amidst the same chaos there are inexorable threads and strings of cosmos the heads of which we're contingently given or we've actively got a hold of, and there's nothing but to weave for the warmth and unravel for the freezing wind and pick up the crumbs of meaning and fulfilment road along.
I wish you well, and I hope your days will be as bright as your writings are.
i love this so much. i am christian but really struggling with it in the face of realising my self and my rational and intellectualising mind. the bible feels like a difficult and confusing piece of literature that i cannot approach any differently from any other book or piece of writing. it is so so hard to confront these things within oneself. thank you for the words, they are beautiful <3
Thank you so much for commenting, I’m glad it resonated! Faith is such a tricky concept x
I often feel like I keep allowing belief systems in, then throwing them out. I am desperate for a higher thing that I can relax into, just like you described. I often wish I was more like the people who accepted religion so easy, that used it as their root. I don't. I long for it.
You write so beautifully and conveyed feelings I feel so so often. Thank hou
Yes yes this is exactly how I feel!! I’m so glad this resonated, and thank you so much <3
An excellent read which resonates deeply with me. I find that struggling to have faith is akin to having faith in the struggle; it makes no damn sense, but it doesn't pretend to either. I have no idea what it means to trust in God fully, and I don't think anyone has. But I know I can't trust anything wordly. Perhaps this is what "death to the world" really means. Nevertheless, doubt always creeps in my thoughts even when I feel the closest to God. Maybe it's the physicist in me that looks at the night sky and sees nothing but void. Truly appreciate you sharing this Freya! It was very comforting.
I'm so glad you found some comfort in it! And thank you for such insightful words
crying in a coffee shop as i read this- your voice somehow captured so many feeling I couldn't put into words.
I'm not sure if you've seen Fleabag but your words brought me to Fleabag's monologue when she's at confession and she admits that she just wants someone to tell her what to do and who to be- if you haven't watched I would definitely recommend because based on this post I feel like you'd love it!
omg yes yes yes I LOVE Fleabag!! <33
you have no idea how badly i needed to read this, i often find myself yearning for religious guidance— it’s gotten to the point where im taking religious courses, following the teachings of every religion for some sort of closure. I’m not even sure what kind of closure i need, i just want someone to tell me it’ll get better, if i follow a specific path it’ll lead me to a better life. Maybe it’s not real, maybe im not trying hard enough. Regardless your writing exemplified my feelings precisely.
I am so glad this resonated with you <3
wow!! I got chills reading this
wow thank you so much! <3
Beautifully written and deeply relatable. And this line: “we instil our faith in strangers on the internet who go viral for any number of things, most importantly for not being us.” 👏🏻❤️🔥
Thank you so much xx
This resonates a lot with me and is something I’ve thought about a lot. Being an eldest daughter myself I know what it’s like to be the model for others and not have anyone be the model for you. It’s rewarding to be an older sister and still hard in many ways.
I mentality I’ve adopted lately is that although “the sky is empty” maybe the belief in god has to be within me. I have the power to materially change my circumstances. To create and destroy. To touch things around me. Maybe we need to treat ourselves like god comes from within.
‘god comes from within’ I LOVE THAT! Thank you so much for reading and commenting <3
such an interesting read. it really resonates with me, i have had a very complex relationship with religion throughout my life and you really captured a lot of those feelings x
Thank you so much!! xx
This is beautiful! I love this piece so much. Did you make the collages yourself (and if so, what app did you use lol)?
Thank you so much!! And yes, I use shuffles <33
This was so powerful and impactful. And you say i’m good at this? I totally need to learn one thing or two from you. Love you gorgeous! 🫶🏻
AMANDA 😭🤍 I still can’t believe you’re here. LOVE YOU 🫶🏻
Love this
Thank you so much!!
Resonated with this so much - I've had phases when I believed in absolutely nothing and no one and felt so empty. I'm still not religious and have perhaps been influenced by New Age spirituality, but it's comforting to believe in something, just anything, greater than you. Because there are always things in life that will feel out of your control no matter how much faith you have in yourself.
YES there is so much comfort in something more
Oh how I loved this piece, Freya.
The uncanny transience of life and the grand disillusionment of god leaves one spinning for life times packed in a fragile body of skin, bones, and blood.
I've found there is an immanent chaos in the utmost core of the universe, one from which we've evolved and one by which we are taunted. And amidst the same chaos there are inexorable threads and strings of cosmos the heads of which we're contingently given or we've actively got a hold of, and there's nothing but to weave for the warmth and unravel for the freezing wind and pick up the crumbs of meaning and fulfilment road along.
I wish you well, and I hope your days will be as bright as your writings are.
This comment is incredible thank you!!!
This is stunning!! And very much resonated with me and my own faith journey. Phenomenal piece!!!!!
Thank you Madeline!!!
Words that left me speechless. What a beautiful piece exploring faith and belief beyond the original restraints of religion.
Wow thank you so much <3