liking yourself is an act of resistance! LOVE that! I also feel like, especially as women, saying you're confident about a skill, an accomplishment, a part of your character/personality/appearance is seen as faux pas, like we're not allowed to admit the things about ourselves we're proud of! But I'm trying to unlearn that.
Oh my god you are just one of the best writers on here. I still have my miserable 14-year-old self living within me, whose Tumblr page was soft grunge (EW), and I sometimes have to remind her that no one is forcing you to be miserable - you're allowed to show joy.
Thank you for sharing this Freya, so happy to have your words back on my screen <3
Resonate with this so much! Self-doubt and perfectionism is definitely the default for a lot of women and girls I think, so thank you for articulating it so well.
your writingmakes me feel such waves of emotions. its like having an older sister tell me to live a little and to have a life and live it not to just exist. and as someone who is an only child i thank u for these everytime
freya, every time you post, i become more and more convinced that we may be the same person and living the same life. please continue pulling the abstract thoughts from my head and representing them in such a clear, succinct way that it feels like a gut punch!! 💝
I loved reading this having known the you that you write about from school. It's been a privilege to grow out of our straight laced education alongside you!
i also went to an academically rigorous girls’ school and am still trying to learn how to just be… i really related to this post, it was brilliant. hope we are kinder to ourselves as time goes on <3
the pipeline from rigorous education to perfectionism in adulthood is such a hard one to dismantle. As a girl who still struggles with it post grad, I related to this so much and the desire to just be but having to first learn how.
So obsessed with everything you post and glad I finally got the minute to read this one
LOVE this so much as someone who somewhat grew up being exposed to the idea that being disillusioned and cynical about everything is what being "mature" and "realistic" meant and ended up being someone disillusioned by people's disillusionment itself instead of the "fantasies" people tend to get disillusioned with
liking yourself is an act of resistance! LOVE that! I also feel like, especially as women, saying you're confident about a skill, an accomplishment, a part of your character/personality/appearance is seen as faux pas, like we're not allowed to admit the things about ourselves we're proud of! But I'm trying to unlearn that.
100000% it's so looked down upon to recognise your own talent or value and it makes no sense
Oh my god you are just one of the best writers on here. I still have my miserable 14-year-old self living within me, whose Tumblr page was soft grunge (EW), and I sometimes have to remind her that no one is forcing you to be miserable - you're allowed to show joy.
Thank you for sharing this Freya, so happy to have your words back on my screen <3
HAHAH the soft grunge phase is so so real omg. And YES to being allowed to share joy. Thank you so much xxxx
being named freya 🤝 being a pessimist SORRY “realist” as a teenager
LOVE this for us <3
Resonate with this so much! Self-doubt and perfectionism is definitely the default for a lot of women and girls I think, so thank you for articulating it so well.
Farryn thank you so much!! It’s definitely the default and it’s sooo miserable. I’m so glad this resonated with you
your writingmakes me feel such waves of emotions. its like having an older sister tell me to live a little and to have a life and live it not to just exist. and as someone who is an only child i thank u for these everytime
This comment made me SO happy I'm so glad I can do that for you <33 I think in a way I'm trying to be my own big sister too :)
I'm not realistic. I'm a fucking cynic and I own it. There's something liberating about always seeing the worst in people
freya, every time you post, i become more and more convinced that we may be the same person and living the same life. please continue pulling the abstract thoughts from my head and representing them in such a clear, succinct way that it feels like a gut punch!! 💝
AVA what a gorgeous comment <33 I LOVE that you feel seen in my writing. Thank you so much for being here <3
I loved reading this having known the you that you write about from school. It's been a privilege to grow out of our straight laced education alongside you!
I love you and I love growing up together xxxx
i also went to an academically rigorous girls’ school and am still trying to learn how to just be… i really related to this post, it was brilliant. hope we are kinder to ourselves as time goes on <3
With respect, give https://quietlywinningthesecond.substack.com/p/how-conditional-love-leads-to-a-need?r=5q331b a read and tell me if it sounds like the home you grew up in. I can't tell where your need for perfection came from, but maybe that will shed some light, or maybe your need is from a totally different place.
the pipeline from rigorous education to perfectionism in adulthood is such a hard one to dismantle. As a girl who still struggles with it post grad, I related to this so much and the desire to just be but having to first learn how.
So obsessed with everything you post and glad I finally got the minute to read this one
LOVE this so much as someone who somewhat grew up being exposed to the idea that being disillusioned and cynical about everything is what being "mature" and "realistic" meant and ended up being someone disillusioned by people's disillusionment itself instead of the "fantasies" people tend to get disillusioned with
Felt this in my bones as a fellow survivor of a grammar school